It hurts to lose loved ones to death. The pain is unbearable when your loved ones were murdered. The grief is endless when you do not know how, when, and where your loved ones were assassinated. If only, I could lay flowers on the grave of my brothers J. Paul Mbanzamihigo (Touring) and J. Claude Mbanzamihigo (Lucky).

Tubahe izina n’isura batazibagirana. May their souls rest in eternal peace.

© 2019 A. Happy Umwagarwa
All Rights Reserved.

 Flowers For Your Grave

It is the end of the commemoration days
But none of the dates reminded me of your death
Because your death can only be told in essays
But even the scholars can’t explore it in depth.
All I want is laying flowers on your grave.

The dreams of you interrupt my sleep always
They become nightmares when I get off the bed
But I only wished I could follow your shadowy ways
To the place where they stopped your breath
I would come there with flowers for your grave

My brother J Paul left before I sang his praise
Tell him that my friends thought I had an affair
With the short man I danced with on Sundays
Classmates counting our steps up to the tenth
Maybe we could dance another at his grave.

Maybe my brother J Claude could do more plays
For the sisters who laughed with all their strength
To the jokes of a stress-free comic without a chaise
The little sisters thought his humor was his wealth
Maybe even his death he thought it was a joke.

When I close my eyes your remembrance stays
Why do you triumph my thoughts by stealth?
As if you want me to stop eating mayonnaise,
That I may go and impel your assassins to confess
The grave to which we may take your flowers.

I do not observe your death on calendar days
Because the dates might fall in the aftermath
When my lips and voice sing only victory praise
When I thought you had found the right path
Not to your grave but to the brave warriors.

Some people say justice nobody can escape
But I think of it as nothing but just a myth
Not applicable to the victims of megadeath.
Not when it’s rushed through the imperious ways
If only, I could lay flowers on your grave

Your remains must have left the pathways
I bless those who took them to their nest
In the memorials decorated with hallways
Where flowers grow in greenery gardens,
But I wished I could also bring my white roses.

Oh, no, don’t tell me you could be in the rivers.
Or that your assassins left you in the forests
Were you devoured by ferocious animals?
Just tell me and let me be a friend to the earth
From today each tree shall bear rose flowers.

My poem cannot rhyme with these tears
That flow on my cheeks when I remember
All the graves, rivers, forests and memorials
Where I laid flowers in your remembrance
But you kept appearing in my nightmares.

What else did you want me to do?
I swear I mourn your death night and day
But, I think this has to reach its end.
I did not survive not to ever dance again.
Why do you want me to be an eternal victim?

Please go and rest in peace my brothers.
Accept to only be accompanied by my love.
Your assassins put an end to your dance moves.
But I will always listen to the songs of your souls.
Please accept my heart to be your grave.

Yes, I may not know where your remains are,
But I know your whole dwells in my bones and veins.
Because the bond we share is unbreakable.
I believe one day in the unknown month and year
I will be able to lay flowers on your grave.

Rest in peace, my brothers.
I will always love you.

Your sister Umwagarwa


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